Everyone has a mantra or personal philosophy they live by. It evolves from many different sources and situations. Some are a family lineage of why others evolved from experiences. If you have been following my articles, I have always ended it with these six words. Do you, Be you, Love you. They carry a long history, so of course, it would be incorporated into the brand. It is a part of me and has been for a significant portion of my life.
I’ve been around before Social Media consumed every aspect of our waking lives. I have watched how it’s diminished individual values and worth in exchange for numbers of followers and social engagements. People tend to connect more online than they do in person. As a photographer, a good majority of the people I shoot are a mix of clients and models. What I find interesting how shy and awkward people are before I shoot them. They are in front of the camera, it’s a different persona. Once the final edits are posted to social media, the attitude shifts. The number count starts to climb, and the comments flood in, the confidence somehow increases. Their digital avatar is entirely different from the person I was photographing.
I am not immune to the influence of social media. Depending on who you are talking to My digital avatar ranges from a bully to a confident badass. Since starting my business as a writer and photographer, I have somewhat grown to dislike it. I know people using it are looking to connect and feel relatable.
Unfortunately, both the Writing and Photography side of the brand requires me to have some sort of following. If I want to do business with brands to grow, if I want people to see my work, it requires building a following. It’s like my value as an artist is all dictated by how many people see my work through my captions and hashtags. Many in my industry advise writing about what people want vs. what’s on my heart. It’s a bit of a conundrum if you are trying to make money off your writing and photography.
Because of this requirement as an entrepreneur and businesswoman, I found myself relying heavily on my mantra. To find a middle ground on the ever-changing dynamics of the business world in the digital era. And remain faithful to me and live my authentic self. Brands and Social Media wants you to compartmentalize yourself into one specific niche. Honestly, I can’t do that with my life. I am more than just one particular thing. I have a lot of titles, skill sets, and I have two sides to my business. So how do I go against the status quo? Honestly, I really don’t know. I am figuring it out as I build and grow my company into a household brand.
So what does Do you, Be you, Love you mean? Let’s break them down into why I have lived by them, and it’s not just a tag but who I am.
Do you:
Do what brings you joy and happiness. Too many times, people mean well but place unnecessary expectations on how you should navigate the world. Parents and family even friends want you to live this life, marry this person, have that career. You have to do what’s best and right for you. This applies to every aspect of your life. If you are unhappy in your relationship, you have to do what’s best for you. If you are in a job you hate and brings you no satisfaction, you have a choice. Life is about making an opportunity, seizing moments, and taking chances. If you stay in a shitty relationship or a shitty job, that is your choice. Where people get it wrong is believing they don’t have a choice or not having options. You always have a choice, and you still have options.
Folks tend to impose their views and opinions unto others believing their values are right. Religious groups are notorious for that. The people we love and whose opinions we value are also the biggest offenders. So you have a choice, do you live your life at the expectations of others? Or do you live your life for you? Do what makes you happy and gives you purpose. Whenever I am asked in assisting in deciding a life choice, I always remind them it’s their life. I refrain from inserting my values because there is so much to the situation I am not aware of. This lesson was a painful one to learn because I lost friends due to my own judgemental views.
Opinions are free, and everyone has one. People have evolved from merely giving unsolicited advice to demanding how a person should live. It’s crazy how values and belief in something have morphed into this extreme cult. It’s incredible how many people get so easily offended on the personal decisions of a complete stranger. Like, why are you mad that a new mom decided to pierce her child’s ears at 2 months? Are you taking care of that child? Are you donating your time by babysitting? So why does it matter to you what someone in another state is doing? I’m pretty sure that new mommy received sound counsel from her pediatrician before making the decision.
This is just an example of the many posts I have seen across all platforms. I say fuck what people think and say about you. Do what you feel is best for you and the people you are responsible for. As long as it’s not impeding on the livelihood of another consenting adult who cares.
Be you:
Live your truth, whatever that may be. Many demographics are forced to hide their true selves because of fear. Fear of being shunned or publicly shamed. Many times that rejection turns violent in the aspect of self-harm or harm towards another. It’s very painful and stressful when the rejection comes mainly from family. It is soul-crushing. Find a group or a tribe that will accept you for you. Family is not necessarily Blood. Sometimes Blood are the main ones who reject your identity. I would be lying if I said this wasn’t difficult. It took me a long time to cut off the very people I once called family.
Be your true authentic self. There are situations and circumstances where you can’t really be yourself. High school is a perfect example. The struggle of finding your authentic self and navigating social landmines is terrible. That is a period in my life I never want to repeat.
Professions like the military is another example where one would put on a mask to fit in and fall in line. How a person presents themselves on the outside is dictated by uniform policies. What is said, how it is said, how you react to shitty people is hidden behind the veil of professionalism. It’s even more apparent when you observe senior ranking service members. Facial expressions and nonverbal body language say it all. The cognitive dissonance observed when there is a disagreement on policy is expressed and quickly covered up with a mask called professionalism.
When a large group of people from all areas of the world with a different set of values and upbringing comes together. As a collective, it makes for an interesting dynamic.
Social Media is another environment where authenticity is sought after. In an ocean of copycats, It’s a challenge. The thing to ask yourself is, how do you want to portray yourself to the world? Will you be happy with it? Only you will know the answer to these questions.
Love you:
It’s pretty self-explanatory yet difficult to do. everything starts with loving yourself first. It’s harder than loving others. Self-care begins with loving yourself even when others don’t. Love yourself when you are in doubt with yourself, when you don’t feel or look your best. Loving you is also establishing personal boundaries and enforcing those boundaries. It falls in the realm of self-respect. When you respect yourself, you won’t allow anyone to disrespect you. Loving yourself will enable you to do what’s best for you and being your authentic self. It all starts from within. Please do not confuse self-love with narcissism they are very different. Loving yourself is recognizing toxic behaviors and having the strength to walk away. It’s knowing your personal worth and value and what you bring to a relationship or employment.
Never let anyone diminish you as a person or your value. Insecure and mediocre people with try to diminish you to make themselves feel relevant or valid. Folks will take advantage of your kindness and generosity for their own selfish gain. Recognize these toxic people and cut them out. They don’t love you or care about you. This is as bluntly I can put it.
As you can see, those six words carry a lot of meaning. Self-love comes with a lot of growth and reflection. It takes time, multiple mistakes, and outside help like therapy to strengthen my resolve. I hope this story can help you find yours. Until next time.
Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life.