The decision to do a boudoir photography session is a personal one; motivated by a variety of factors. Despite its growth in popularity, Boudoir photography is a very scary concept for some people. It’s even scarier when women don’t see themselves aligned with societal standards of beauty. As a boudoir photographer, my job is to provide an experience for people that creates a safe space for them to capture their sensuality and connect with a side of themselves that is often neglected. Do I take pictures of naked people if they request them? Yes. Am I personally uncomfortable with nudity in general? No. About four percent of the female population are comfortable with their bodies. They don’t rely on the opinions of society to determine their value and worth by their external appearance. Personally, it’s a liberating feeling not being glued to a mirror picking apart every part of my body.
Prior to becoming a Professional Photographer, I was in the Army. I was 17 years old and I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. I wanted to get out of my hometown, explore and travel the world. At the time I was very insecure about my own body. I would nitpick at everything I perceived to be a flaw in my body. At the time the standard of beauty was either very slim and tall or curvy with a 36/24/36 hourglass body. I was neither. I was your classic athletic coke bottle/pear shape. Nudity wasn’t a big deal but I struggled with how I perceived myself based on the world’s stereotypes of beauty and the media’s incessant depiction of it. I saw myself as overweight with big thighs and rolls on my belly.
The day I took a shower with 50 other women was the first time I realized my flaws, and that areas of my body I didn’t like were in turn features another woman wanted. I wanted larger breasts while another woman wanted my hips and booty. Over the years my weight fluctuated and the same conversations occurred in the showers. I hate this about my body. I wish I had that body or body part. Eventually, I realized popular standards of beauty were a farce and unrealistic goals for women to achieve, in particular body composition that did not reflect good health or medical advice. What was deemed ugly or unacceptable is now coveted and women are paying money to have their bodies surgically enhanced. Realizing what I don’t like another woman is wishing she had, my insecurities died and I began to love and accept my flaws.
Despite gaining and losing weight and my body changing as I matured. Eventually, I learned how to love myself first. Understanding and being aware that what makes me unique overall is my ability to embrace myself and love all of me. Loving myself is my special superpower since I don’t need external validation to feel beautiful. Over time the obsession over the number on the scale became a non-factor. Whether I am a size 7 (my smallest) or a size 22 (my heaviest) I loved my body and my confidence made me feel sexy. Since leaving the Army I have been more focused on optimal mental, physical and emotional health — now is the time for me to live my best life. On my terms and by my rules.
The most heartbreaking thing I see on a regular basis since becoming a photographer is reactions from both men and women regarding their appearance. Whether it’s digital ads to attract potential clients or sharing content from my latest photoshoot I see these comments. “I’m not pretty enough for Boudoir”, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not the standard of beauty”. These comments on my sponsored posts are all too common. No matter how many campaigns, celebrities, or influencers promote body positivity and self love, there’s an opposite entity that counters it. So many women and young girls are spending thousands of dollars on lip fillers and other plastic surgery procedures to look like their favorite celebrities and social media influencers. Women are not the only victims of poor self-image. Men struggle with the insecurities of not having six pack abs, a defined chest, or muscular back. Men won’t consider a solo Boudoir session because it puts them face to face with insecurities regarding their bodies that money, status, and power can not hide.
Providing a service that allows people to have a safe space to embrace the sensual side of themselves is the most rewarding aspect of my profession. Getting people to see themselves in a sensual state is a challenge that I love helping my clients overcome. However, it is a steep hill. Being in the business of promoting self love and inner strength through sensuality, I see a lot of insecurities projected unto others through social media. People tearing each other down for nothing more than just jealousy. What’s ironic is the same people behind their phones and sending ugly messages struggle with how they look. Many won’t post a full body photo of themselves online. No matter how many times I tell a person they are beautiful and amazing they don’t see it in themselves. It doesn’t matter how many likes and comments they recieve on a posted picture they can’t see it. Because they can’t see past the object of their insecurities. The never ending cycle to self loathing and hatred mixed with the desire to achieve an unrealistic beauty standard is there.
Self love and confidence feeds your self esteem. When you love yourself you set concrete boundaries. As you value your new sense of self, you will recognize shallow, transactional relationships that deprive you of being your best. You will see and be able to separate yourself from toxic, narcissistic people who don’t care or have your best interest. Self love begets self respect: it allows you to truly live in the real world and value meaningful relationships. It gives you the strength to walk away from situations and people who don’t value you.
For my clients who make the leap and schedule a session they almost always tell me how much they appreciate feeling like a goddes. Having this whole new found sense of confidence and self love. It’s the most rewarding feeling to plant a seed that will allow a person to truly see themselves.
It’s more than just a boudoir session. At day’s end, it’s about truly being free to love yourself the way you are. To remind yourself you are beautiful and sexy flaws and all. Don’t ever forget that. It’s the ability to see yourself as someone who is worthy of the world and demand it. If you want to be a part of the 4% and find that great love inside of you, reach out to set up a consultation today.
