Bohemian Visions

Tag: Self Love

Embracing the Empowered Journey: The Rise of Maternity Boudoir Photography

Maternity Boudoir Photography a pregnant woman in a white bra laying on a bed
Maternity Boudoir Photography a pregnant woman in a white bra laying on a bed

Why should you do a maternity boudoir photography session?

In recent years, maternity boudoir photography has emerged as a beloved genre for expecting mothers seeking a unique and intimate way to capture the beauty of pregnancy. This photographic style blends the elegance and intimacy of boudoir photography with the miraculous journey of maternity, offering a personalized and empowering experience. But why has it become such a popular choice for maternity photoshoots? Let’s explore the allure of maternity boudoir and its significance in celebrating one of life’s most transformative chapters.

Celebrating Transformation and Femininity

The celebration of transformation and femininity through maternity boudoir photography is a powerful homage to the journey of motherhood. Pregnancy brings about profound changes, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It’s a period where the essence of creation is embodied, where life burgeons within, marking a significant transformation that deserves to be celebrated and remembered. Maternity boudoir photography steps in as a celebration of this incredible metamorphosis, offering women a space to honor their bodies and the life they are nurturing.

This genre of photography delicately balances the strength and vulnerability that come with pregnancy, showcasing the resilience and grace of the female form. It’s a testament to the beauty of change, portraying the body as a site of power and femininity. The changes that pregnancy brings – the curves, the stretch marks, the shifting silhouette – are embraced and highlighted, not as imperfections but as marks of strength, badges of honor that speak to the incredible capability of women to create and sustain life.

Moreover, maternity boudoir photography is an intimate exploration of femininity. It allows women to connect with their bodies in a way that is often lost in the everyday narratives of pregnancy. It shifts the focus from the external to the internal, from how the body looks to how it feels, and the miracle it is performing. This shift encourages a deeper appreciation and love for one’s body, fostering a connection with the new identity being formed.

Through the lens of maternity boudoir, women are invited to see themselves as embodiments of beauty and strength. It’s a moment to pause and reflect on the journey to motherhood, to celebrate the individual path each woman takes. This form of photography becomes a space for empowerment, where the act of capturing the body’s transformation becomes an act of reclaiming and affirming one’s femininity and power.

In celebrating the transformation and femininity of pregnancy, maternity boudoir photography captures more than just a moment in time; it captures a story of growth, resilience, and the profound journey of becoming a mother. It’s a deeply personal and empowering way to document the journey to motherhood, creating lasting memories that celebrate the incredible journey of bringing new life into the world.

A Personalized Experience

Maternity boudoir photography stands out as a beacon of personalized expression in the realm of maternity photo shoots. It shatters the one-size-fits-all approach, inviting expecting mothers to curate a session that mirrors their individual essence, preferences, and the intimate journey they are on. This level of customization goes beyond simply choosing a backdrop; it delves into the heart of what makes each pregnancy unique, allowing for a portrayal that is as distinct as the person it celebrates.

The process of personalization in maternity boudoir begins with a consultation, where photographers engage deeply with their clients to understand their vision, comfort levels, and what pregnancy means to them. This could mean selecting a theme that resonates with the individual’s personality, incorporating elements or symbols that hold special significance, or choosing a setting that feels like a second skin. The flexibility in styling, from the wardrobe to the lighting, ensures that every detail contributes to a narrative that is both authentic and deeply personal.

Moreover, maternity boudoir embraces the diversity of family structures and dynamics, offering the opportunity to involve partners and other children in the session. This inclusion enriches the experience, turning it into a shared celebration of the life about to be welcomed. It’s an opportunity for couples to strengthen their bond, for siblings to begin forming connections with the new family member, and for individuals to reflect on their evolving identity as parents and partners.

This intimate approach to maternity photography fosters a deeper connection between the subject and the final images. The end result is not just a series of photographs but a collection of moments that truly resonate with the emotional and physical journey of pregnancy. Each session becomes a safe space for expression, reflection, and celebration, capturing the essence of this significant life event in a way that is meaningful and enduring.

In essence, the personalized experience of maternity boudoir offers a profound avenue for expecting mothers to document their journey in a manner that is reflective of their individual story, fostering an environment of intimacy, inclusion, and deep personal significance. It’s a testament to the beauty of pregnancy and the unique paths we tread in welcoming new life.

An Act of Self-Love and Empowerment

Engaging in a maternity boudoir photography session is a profound act of self-love and empowerment, especially during a time when women undergo significant physical and emotional transformations. Pregnancy, with all its beauty and complexity, can sometimes lead to feelings of insecurity or discomfort with one’s changing body. Maternity boudoir photography challenges these feelings head-on, offering a platform for women to reclaim their sense of self and celebrate their bodies in a powerful, affirming manner.

This genre of photography is not just about taking beautiful photos; it’s a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It allows expecting mothers to step out of their daily routines and see themselves through a lens of strength, grace, and femininity. By highlighting the elegance and resilience inherent in the pregnant form, maternity boudoir sessions become a catalyst for confidence, helping women to embrace their new curves and the remarkable process their bodies are undergoing.

Furthermore, the act of participating in a boudoir session can be a therapeutic experience, offering a safe space for women to express and validate their feelings about their bodies and the journey of pregnancy. It’s a moment to pause and reflect on the miracle of life and the incredible role their bodies play in that process. This acknowledgment serves as a powerful reminder of their strength and capability, boosting self-esteem and fostering a sense of pride in their journey to motherhood.

Maternity boudoir also provides an opportunity for women to take control of their narrative, choosing how they want to be seen and remembered during this significant time in their lives. It’s a statement of empowerment, declaring that pregnancy is not just something to be endured but celebrated with joy and pride.

Ultimately, a maternity boudoir session is an intimate celebration of one of life’s most profound transformations. It empowers women to view themselves and their journey with love and admiration, reinforcing the idea that they are not just participants in the creation of life but powerful beings deserving of respect and admiration. In this light, maternity boudoir photography is more than just a photoshoot; it’s an act of profound self-love and a celebration of the power of womanhood.

Creating Heirlooms and Memories

Creating heirlooms and memories through maternity boudoir photography goes beyond the mere act of taking photographs; it’s about weaving a tangible tapestry of the emotional and physical journey that parenthood entails. These images serve as a powerful reminder of the strength, beauty, and profound transformation experienced during pregnancy. They encapsulate not just the physical form but the palpable sense of anticipation, the swirl of excitement, and the deep, resonant love that defines the period leading up to the arrival of a new family member.

As families evolve and children grow, these maternity boudoir photos become invaluable treasures, symbols of a time when life was on the cusp of change. They tell a story of waiting, of hope, and of the incredible journey that is bringing a new life into the world. For the individuals in the photographs, they offer a rare opportunity to look back and see themselves through a lens of empowerment and grace at a pivotal moment in their lives.

Moreover, these photographs are not just for the parents. They become part of a family’s legacy, passed down to children and grandchildren, serving as a testament to the love and connection that formed the bedrock of their family. They offer future generations a glimpse into the past, a way to connect with and understand their heritage and the depth of emotion that accompanied their arrival.

In a digital age where moments are fleeting and memories can be ephemeral, maternity boudoir photographs stand out as enduring artifacts of a family’s history. They are a celebration not just of pregnancy, but of life, love, and the incredible journey of bringing a new person into the world. Through these images, families can keep the memory of these precious moments alive, sharing and reliving the joy, anticipation, and love that marked the beginning of a new chapter in their lives.

A Safe and Supportive Environment

Creating a safe and supportive environment is a cornerstone of professional maternity boudoir photography, where the primary goal is to foster a space where expecting mothers feel valued, respected, and at ease. Skilled photographers in this niche possess a deep understanding of the unique aspects of maternity photography, leveraging their expertise to craft sessions that not only highlight the beauty and strength of pregnancy but also ensure the utmost comfort and safety for their clients. This involves a meticulous approach to selecting poses that not only look stunning but are also tailored to accommodate the physical limitations and comfort levels of pregnancy.

The atmosphere during a maternity boudoir shoot is designed to be warm and inviting, encouraging clients to express their true selves without fear of judgment or discomfort. Photographers often engage in open dialogue with their clients, listening to their preferences and concerns, and adjusting the session accordingly. This level of personalized attention helps to build trust and rapport, transforming the photoshoot into a collaborative and enjoyable experience.

Moreover, professional studios are equipped with amenities and adjustments designed to cater to the needs of pregnant women, from comfortable dressing areas to easily accessible refreshments and rest areas. The focus on creating a nurturing environment extends to the careful handling of lighting, temperature, and privacy, ensuring that every aspect of the session contributes to a positive, empowering experience.

In this way, the commitment to a safe and supportive environment goes beyond mere technical considerations; it’s about creating a holistic experience that celebrates and honors the journey of motherhood. This dedication ensures that maternity boudoir photography is not just a photoshoot but a milestone event that uplifts, empowers, and beautifully captures the essence of this transformative phase of life.

Conclusion

Maternity boudoir photography has risen in popularity for good reason. It offers a unique blend of intimacy, beauty, and personalization that traditional maternity shoots might not capture. For expecting mothers looking to celebrate their pregnancy journey in a deeply personal and empowering way, maternity boudoir presents a perfect opportunity. It’s not just about capturing images; it’s about embracing the journey, celebrating femininity, and creating lasting memories that honor this significant life milestone. As this photography style continues to evolve, it promises to keep providing expecting mothers with a unique and beautiful way to document their journey to motherhood.

Until Next Time
Do you, Be you, Love you

What is Boudoir Photography? A Detailed Guide.

What is Boudoir Photography? A Detailed Guide. 3

Boudoir photography involves capturing intimate, romantic, and sometimes sensual images of the subject in a private setting. Unlike conventional photography which highlights external aesthetics, this genre focuses more on the personal and emotional side of a person. 

In this detailed guide, we will explore how boudoir photography empowers individuals and what are the essentials for a successful experience.

What Boudoir Photography Offers

Creating a collection of tasteful, intimate images is the best way to celebrate yourself and your true personality. Here are the benefits of capturing boudoir photos:

Boosting Self-Esteem

Boudoir photo sessions help individuals step out of their comfort zone and empower them by highlighting their true beauty. It helps you embrace a different side of yourself, fosters self-acceptance, and boosts self-esteem. 

Promoting Body Positivity

Boudoir photography celebrates all body types, promoting body positivity. The stunningly captured sensual photos show that beauty is diverse and unique. These create a greater sense of appreciation for one’s own body and break stereotypes.

Creating Personalized Gifts

Boudoir photos make exceptional personalized gifts for partners, anniversaries, or special occasions. These intimate and thoughtful presents leave lasting impressions. Plus, they convey love and affection like no other.

So, if you want to hire Virginia’s best boudoir photographer, Bohemian Visions is the right choice. Contact us today!

The Ultimate Guide to a Successful Boudoir Session

Here’s a comprehensive roadmap to ensure your boudoir session is a resounding success. From preparation to posing, this has got you covered.

Choosing the Right Photographer

Selecting the right photographer is a pivotal decision in your intimate photography journey. Begin with thorough research and a careful selection process. Look for photographers with specialized experience in boudoir photography. This ensures they understand the nuances of capturing sensual and empowering moments. 

Evaluating portfolios is quite helpful in this regard. Explore their previous work to gauge their style and versatility. Each photographer has a unique approach, so find one whose style resonates with your vision and comfort level. Consider their use of lighting, composition, and ability to make subjects feel at ease. By choosing wisely, you set the stage for an empowering boudoir experience. 

Preparation—Consultation, Your Look and Poses

A detailed consultation with your photographer helps you prepare mentally and physically for your boudoir session. This helps eliminate the hesitation and set the right mood.

The first step before getting started with a boudoir shoot is wardrobe selection and styling. Always choose an attire that makes you feel both comfortable and glamorous. Hair and makeup are also integral; consider professional services to enhance your natural beauty and confidence. 

Without the right poses and expressions, you can’t achieve the desired outcomes. So, it’s pivotal to collaborate with your photographer. They will guide you through flattering poses and capture your genuine emotions. This ensures that the final images radiate sensuality and self-assuredness. 

The Photoshoot Experience

Building trust with your photographer is necessary; this is done by maintaining open communication on both sides. A professional who prioritizes professionalism and the client’s comfort always ensures a successful and empowering experience. They’ll create a supportive atmosphere where you can relax and feel confident, resulting in intimate and stunning images.

Always expect a respectful approach and properly convey your desired vision to achieve a boudoir photoshoot that celebrates your unique beauty and personality.

Safety and Privacy

When it comes to boudoir photography, ensuring privacy and safety is extremely vital. Clients should be assured of their safety during the photoshoot. Photographers must provide a secure and private environment, free from any external intrusion or discomfort. This allows clients to relax and fosters confidence throughout the photoshoot.

Moreover, photographers should seek consent for all aspects of the shoot, from poses to wardrobe choices. This commitment reinforces a comfortable and dignified atmosphere.

Handling images securely is a non-negotiable ethical obligation. Professionals always store client images securely. They implement stringent protocols to protect privacy and prevent any unauthorized access or distribution.

Photography Equipment

Top-tier boudoir photography hinges on the choice of equipment. Make sure that the photographer is using full-frame cameras and prime lenses for a sharp focus on subjects while creating a pleasing background blur. Diffused lighting sources like strobes or natural light are commonly used to achieve flattering and sensual effects.

Conclusion

Boudoir photography is a potent tool for empowering oneself. It increases your sense of self-worth and acknowledges and honors your unique personality. Remember that a boudoir photo shoot is a journey towards self-discovery and assurance whether you’re thinking about getting one or attempting to understand the implications. And, with the valuable insights given above, you can have a clear vision of what you are seeking from a boudoir photoshoot. Through proper research, open communication, and devising a stunning look, you can get the results you want— strength, beauty, and self-assuredness. 

Do you, Be you, Love you

In Her Boudoir: A Boudoir Photographer's Perspective

Boudoir Self Portrait
February 20, 2023

Bohemian Visions, Boudoir Photographer, Richmond, Virginia

Self Portrait

Boudoir Photographer’s Inspiration

A boudoir self-portrait shot in my actual boudoir. As a professional boudoir photographer, Spending time in my boudoir practicing poses, going to museums and study paintings. I find inspiration for my clients. I’m a curvy woman, so I personally understand my clients’ reservations about posing nude. So I strip down and put myself in awkward positions to learn how my body looks through the photographer’s gaze. I want to experience what I put my clients through. How do I perceive the rolls, the lines, and the angles of my body? Every frame should tell a story. What is the perceived story vs. the actual? I inform my clients these poses are uncomfortable, but they will look amazing in the photo. I understand how it feels to be uncomfortable in your skin. Focus on the areas you love. There is so much more to this than seducing anyone, man or woman, with just my thighs and feet. Love your flaws as well as your attributes. Seduction is in the subtleties and how you feel.

Bohemian Visions was born out of the owner’s desire to rebel against societal expectations and traditional beauty standards. I wanted to create a space where people could feel safe and empowered to embrace their unique beauty and sensuality. I also wanted to create a business that could support her and her family while providing a meaningful and fulfilling career.

Through my own experiences with body image and confidence, I developed a deep passion for helping others rediscover their own self-worth and beauty. This passion, combined with her artistic vision and technical skill, has allowed her to create a business that is both successful and meaningful.

Having a boudoir portrait done is on the mind of a lot of women. Even though boudoir photography has been around for 100 years its popularity has increased in the last 5 years. And it’s starting to pick up interest with men and couples as well. A boudoir photoshoot is the perfect way to truly step outside of your comfort zone, connect with the intimate and sensual side of yourself.

Bohemian Visions aims to provide an unforgettable boudoir experience that is tailored to each client’s unique personality and style. With an all-female team, clients can expect to feel comfortable, pampered, and supported throughout the entire process. From hair and makeup to unlimited outfit changes and guided posing, the experience is designed to make clients feel confident, empowered, and beautiful. And with the option for custom heirloom albums and wall art, clients can treasure their images for a lifetime. Bohemian Visions also offers payment plan options to make the experience more accessible. The experience is truly priceless, as clients leave with a renewed sense of self-love, confidence, and empowerment.

Male on Couch Male Boudoir Photos Richmond VA Bohemian Visions Photography
Male Boudoir

A boudoir experience is more than just taking photos. It’s an opportunity to embrace and celebrate your sensuality, to step out of your comfort zone, and to gain confidence in yourself. It’s a chance to explore your personal style and express your unique beauty in a safe and supportive environment. The images captured during a boudoir session can serve as a reminder of your strength and courage, and can be cherished for years to come. So, while the end result may be beautiful photos, the experience itself can be transformative and empowering.

Book a session today

A Complete Guide to Boudoir and Glamour Photography

Boudoir Glamour Photography
January 29, 2022

Confused between Boudoir and Glamour? Okay, let’s start with the basics.

Boudoir, French, means a woman’s private room which can also be interpreted as a woman’s private space where she is all alone and enjoys her company. In boudoir photography, our photographer captures you in your own private space and comfort.  But when it comes to glamour the whole scene changes in this category a model is captured by photographers in our luxurious studio.

The Minute Difference between the Two- Explained

Boudoir being about everyday women getting sexy and alluring photos taken of themselves, the other important aspect of that is it’s also a way for a woman to celebrate, acknowledge, and express her sexuality and her body. It’s a very personal and private thing.

More focused on the models, the glamour photography highlights their natural features in a flattering and artistic way. It runs quite a spectrum, from conventional senior portraits of teen students to soft-core images used in men’s magazines.

Many glamour photographers view their work as art, exploring the nature of the human form and using a variety of stylistic techniques to highlight their models. Often, such photographs bring out another side of the model, using lighting, composition, and interesting poses to draw the model’s hidden nature out into the open. While glamour photography is often associated with sensual images, it doesn’t necessarily have to be sensual in nature.

One of the biggest differences between these two types of photography is that with Beauty/Glamour the emphasis is on a woman’s inherent beauty both inside and out. With Boudoir, the emphasis is more on a woman’s sexualized physical beauty.

All women are beautiful, whether in the literal sense or by having amazing inner beauty that just makes them attractive to other people. Boudoir photo shoots provide the artistic freedom to capture all that is special about a woman and her individuality. There are no rules or requirements imposed in a Boudoir photoshoot. A woman’s shape or body type is largely irrelevant because working on the basis that all women truly are beautiful, it’s my job to bring out her beauty in the photoshoot.

Our aim is to create beautiful, classy, and tasteful images whether it’s glamour, boudoir, or nude, just plain sexy, or even bridal boudoir photography featuring your wedding lingerie, veil, and tiara. Whatever style you choose, our work is intimate, personal, and confidential.

Here at Bohemian Visions, we offer both Boudoir and Glamour Photography for people of all types of sexes, of all shapes and sizes, at our studio or at the place of your choice it can also be at your house. Traveling out of the state to your place would attract traveling charges depending upon the distance.

What you pay at Bohemian Vision is all cost worthy. It will include your hair and makeup by professionals, changing of outfits unlimitedly, fixed hours of the photoshoot, our photographer’s guidance on how to pose so that those poses bring out the best of you, viewing of your images within some hours, a personalized location that suits you, a planned guide to your session, and various techniques like music to relax your nerves.

We have set up a luxurious studio for your better experience. Our team here takes care of all the amenities that you will need during the photo shoot.  Your relaxation is our utmost priority, the photoshoot does not begin unless the client is relaxed and is confident of the process, and has trust in our team.

Our photographers are well experienced who have gained their experiences by working on various successful projects . They bring to you the best poses that suit your personality. Our uniqueness lies in our work and the smile that you have after receiving your photographs.

We are always ready to capture your most precious moments, helping you to be proud of yourself, developing self-confidence, just being yourself, and creating a legacy for your future generations.

Take a break from your normal boring life. Celebrate with us and feel proud of yourself. Book yourself a personalized boudoir or glamour session.

"Five Essential Steps to Prepare for Your Boudoir Photoshoot"

Boudoir Photography Virginia FAQ Page
December 3, 2021

Bohemian Visions, Richmond, Virginia

woman in orange bikini standing in front of mirror

“What do I do before my boudoir photoshoot?” is one of the most asked questions. And, as basic as the inquiry may appear, it usually elicits a great deal of concern. You’re frightened, worried about forgetting anything, or this is such a big deal for you that “turning up” can’t possibly be the answer… Don’t worry, we will walk you through it and you’ll feel so prepared that you won’t believe it.

I would admit, though, that when I say “all you have to do is show up,” I truly mean it. Set a date for your boudoir photoshoot at my studio, tell yourself you’re going to do it, and then do it. After that, you won’t be able to back out, so be proud of how far you’ve come! All I require of you is your presence.

However, there are a few things I recommend that can help you feel your best and make our job easier before your boudoir photoshoot, and they are mentioned below!

1. Plan your wardrobe

Start planning out your wardrobe at least two weeks before your session. Think about the look you want to achieve and plan your outfits accordingly. Choose items that make you feel confident and comfortable, and consider bringing a variety of options in different styles and colors. Its ok if you bring extra outfits. When in doubt bring it.

2. Asses your skin tan

It’s crucial to even it out so that any hard lines or radically differing skin hues can be blended. If you decide to spray tan, you should be completely confident in your decision and should probably do a test run beforehand. If you do it for the first time the day before and arrive looking like an umpa lumpa, we hope your boudoir photoshoot theme is chocolate. I will be completely honest don’t spray tan at all. If you are concern with looking too pale it is easier to color correct the lighting than your skin.

3. Rest and Hydrate

Drinking enough water can make a significant difference in the appearance of your skin before you leave for your boudoir photoshoot. Make sure you hydrate throughout the week and at night, especially your lips and hands! I know you are excited and nervous but make sure you get plenty of rest and sleep. If waking up in the morning will have you anxious then schedule your session in the after. You do not want to be tired during your session.

4. Leave the blemishes

I can easily get rid of a pimple, but I can’t do it when my skin is red, inflamed, and swollen. Don’t worry about any last-minute surprises; the bulk of them will be taken care of by cosmetics, and the remainder will be taken care of by me. Acne on the breasts or back is included in this category. Consider getting a facial or doing an at-home skincare routine to help your skin look and feel its best. Do this five days prior to your session. Avoid trying any new products or treatments right before your shoot, as they could cause irritation or other unexpected results.

5. Stay Energized

Wake up with a smile on your face, a cup of tea in your hand, and a cheerful start to your day. Stand in the superwoman posture while meditating. Play your jam in the car on your way to see me and sing your little heart out on the day of your boudoir photoshoot! Positive vibes!!!

Don’t forget to review your prep guide

Boudoir photography can be a vulnerable and intimate experience, but it’s important to trust your photographer and allow yourself to be in the moment. Take a few deep breaths, let go of any insecurities, and remember that you are beautiful just as you are.

Do you, Be you, Love you

Only 4% Of Women Feel This Way...And It's Extremely Heartbreaking

September 4, 2020

The decision to do a boudoir photography session is a personal one; motivated by a variety of factors. Despite its growth in popularity, Boudoir photography is a very scary concept for some people. It’s even scarier when women don’t see themselves aligned with societal standards of beauty. As a boudoir photographer, my job is to provide an experience for people that creates a safe space for them to capture their sensuality and connect with a side of themselves that is often neglected. Do I take pictures of naked people if they request them? Yes. Am I personally uncomfortable with nudity in general? No. About four percent of the female population are comfortable with their bodies. They don’t rely on the opinions of society to determine their value and worth by their external appearance. Personally, it’s a liberating feeling not being glued to a mirror picking apart every part of my body. 

Prior to becoming a Professional Photographer, I was in the Army. I was 17 years old and I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. I wanted to get out of my hometown, explore and travel the world.  At the time I was very insecure about my own body. I would nitpick at everything I perceived to be a flaw in my body. At the time the standard of beauty was either very slim and tall or curvy with a 36/24/36 hourglass body. I was neither. I was your classic athletic coke bottle/pear shape. Nudity wasn’t a big deal but I struggled with how I perceived myself based on the world’s stereotypes of beauty and the media’s incessant depiction of it. I saw myself as overweight with big thighs and rolls on my belly. 

The day I took a shower with 50 other women was the first time I realized my flaws, and that areas of my body I didn’t like were in turn features another woman wanted. I wanted larger breasts while another woman wanted my hips and booty. Over the years my weight fluctuated and the same conversations occurred in the showers. I hate this about my body. I wish I had that body or body part. Eventually, I realized popular standards of beauty were a farce and unrealistic goals for women to achieve, in particular body composition that did not reflect good health or medical advice. What was deemed ugly or unacceptable is now coveted and women are paying money to have their bodies surgically enhanced. Realizing what I don’t like another woman is wishing she had, my insecurities died and I began to love and accept my flaws. 

Despite gaining and losing weight and my body changing as I matured. Eventually, I learned how to love myself first. Understanding and being aware that what makes me unique overall is my ability to embrace myself and love all of me. Loving myself is my special superpower since I don’t need external validation to feel beautiful. Over time the obsession over the number on the scale became a non-factor. Whether I am a size 7 (my smallest) or a size 22 (my heaviest) I loved my body and my confidence made me feel sexy. Since leaving the Army I have been more focused on optimal mental, physical and emotional health — now is the time for me to live my best life. On my terms and by my rules.

The most heartbreaking thing I see on a regular basis since becoming a photographer is reactions from both men and women regarding their appearance. Whether it’s digital ads to attract potential clients or sharing content from my latest photoshoot I see these comments.  “I’m not pretty enough for Boudoir”, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not the standard of beauty”. These comments on my sponsored posts are all too common. No matter how many campaigns, celebrities, or influencers promote body positivity and self love, there’s an opposite entity that counters it. So many women and young girls are spending thousands of dollars on lip fillers and other plastic surgery procedures to look like their favorite celebrities and social media influencers. Women are not the only victims of poor self-image.  Men struggle with the insecurities of not having six pack abs, a defined chest, or muscular back. Men won’t consider a solo Boudoir session because it puts them face to face with insecurities regarding their bodies that money, status, and power can not hide.

Providing a service that allows people to have a safe space to embrace the sensual side of themselves is the most rewarding aspect of my profession. Getting people to see themselves in a sensual state is a challenge that I love helping my clients overcome. However, it is a steep hill. Being in the business of promoting self love and inner strength through sensuality, I see a lot of insecurities projected unto others through social media. People tearing each other down for nothing more than just jealousy. What’s ironic is the same people behind their phones and sending ugly messages struggle with how they look. Many won’t post a full body photo of themselves online. No matter how many times I tell a person they are beautiful and amazing they don’t see it in themselves. It doesn’t matter how many likes and comments they recieve on a posted picture they can’t see it. Because they can’t see past the object of their insecurities. The never ending cycle to self loathing and hatred mixed with the desire to achieve an unrealistic beauty standard is there. 

Self love and confidence feeds your self esteem. When you love yourself you set concrete boundaries. As you value your new sense of self, you will recognize shallow, transactional relationships that deprive you of being your best. You will see and be able to separate yourself from toxic, narcissistic people who don’t care or have your best interest. Self love begets self respect: it allows you to truly live in the real world and value meaningful relationships. It gives you the strength to walk away from situations and people who don’t value you. 

For my clients who make the leap and schedule a session they almost always tell me how much they appreciate feeling like a goddes.  Having this whole new found sense of confidence and self love. It’s the most rewarding feeling to plant a seed that will allow a person to truly see themselves. 

It’s more than just a boudoir session. At day’s end, it’s about truly being free to love yourself the way you are. To remind yourself you are beautiful and sexy flaws and all. Don’t ever forget that. It’s the ability to see yourself as someone who is worthy of the world and demand it. If you want to be a part of the 4% and find that great love inside of you, reach out to set up a consultation today. 

Do you, Be you, Love you    

The Reluctant Client: How to Push Your Past Your Hesitation & Fear

photo of woman wearing gray bra

Your friend just shot a Boudoir Session with Bohemian Visions and she is raving about how amazing the experience was and how great she felt. She gives you the play by play of the entire evening. She tells you about how she was greeted by the photographer, hair, and makeup team. The location was high end and the entire experience was a fantasy that came true. She continues to gush about the experience and she can’t wait to see her completed album. A few weeks go by and her album arrives. A leather-bound cover with her name engraved in the front. Your friend is in tears because she loves her album and allows you to look. You can’t help but notice the quality of the album, thick pages, leather cover, and how amazing her photos look. Your mouth almost dropped. She is practically glowing; surprised at how amazing the photos look. You agree that she does indeed look amazing. 

pexels-photo-4003804.jpeg
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Your friend turns to you and says, “you look amazing and have a great body. You should do one too. You have a birthday coming up and when was the last time you were spoiled and pampered?” Looking at your friend you are thinking, “she is right.” She whips out her phone, shows you the website and assures you Bohemian Visions is the best option. The experience and moment will leave you feeling like a goddess. To ensure you didn’t forget you searched the website on your phone and bookmarked it. Later that night you comb through the entire website and social media. You later learned the photographer has a Youtube Channel and want to get to know her and the team. 

Reflecting back on your friend’s excitement and the extra pep in her step you think to yourself,  your birthday is in a couple of months and it’s been a long time since you were spoiled and pampered the way your friend described. Before you click on the consultation link and schedule an appointment you freeze. All of your insecurities come flooding in and you begin to second guess yourself. You begin questioning “Why should you do it? “Am I pretty.enough?” Fit enough?” “Sexy enough?”

Boudoir photography is very intimidating for a lot of people. Society and its standard of beauty and sexiness changes with each decade.  Changing fads drive people to extreme diets and visits to the neighborhood plastic surgeon. Social media doesn’t help the situation either.  As a woman I am not exempt from those insecurities. With wisdom and maturity I have learned to take control of how I view my body and learned to love my flaws and imperfections. 

Focused on Inclusion & Body Positivity

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Photo by Jennifer Enujiugha on Pexels.com

As a boudoir photographer, I have seen all shapes and sizes of the human form. I say human form because it doesn’t matter what you identify as because you have the unalienable right to deserve to feel your best. It’s about inclusion and acceptance. Bohemian Visions is geared towards everyday people in all sizes and shapes. Men, Women, and Couples who want to feel sensual and sexy and connect with themselves. People regardless of what they identify as who want to celebrate a milestone or want a sexy unique gift for their spouses/ partners. The majority of the clientele are women. I shoot very few male clients outside of couple sessions. Even though I tell women who are interested in a session they are beautiful and sexy just the way they are there is still reluctance and hesitation.  

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Photo by Ana Maria Moroz on Pexels.com

I will be unapologetically candid. Boudoir photography is a scary situation if you already don’t like having your photos taken. If you have major insecurities about your body a Boudoir photoshoot will be a far reach. You start zeroing in and focusing on parts of your body that you don’t like whether it’s the cellulite on your thighs, the shape of your breasts, or your abdomen — it all becomes glaringly magnified. All women including myself have an area of their body they wish would not be there. Many don’t realize some of those “flaws” are attributed to fighting gravity, an injury, or growing older. So what is causing people to be reluctant about celebrating themselves in a sensual and sexy manner?

It’s even more difficult looking for representation you can see yourself in. It’s not just women who have issues with their bodies; men do too. Many who identify as men feel they have to look a certain way or have a particular set of features in order to take semi nude to nude portraits. Then there is the reluctance in the LGBT community due to lack of representation or finding a photographer who is welcoming without being creepy, phobic, or just flat out weird. Bohemian Visions is very inclusive and believes in creating a safe space where you can both be vulnerable and at your very best. 

How do you push past your hesitation?

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Photo by Retha Ferguson on Pexels.com

So what is holding you back from crossing off a Boudoir Session from your bucket list? Is it body image? Judgment from friends and family members? Is it finding the right photographer you can trust and feel comfortable with? If it’s a body image concern, remember there is only one of you and that fact makes you unique and special. There are people who spend thousands on plastic surgery to look like someone else. That money could be saved with a good therapist. You would be surprised how many people have wanted body parts someone else has and doesn’t want. There is someone in the world spending money on a plastic surgeon for features you were born with. Focus on what you love about yourself and what areas of your body you appreciate or what parts of your body appeal to your partner if it’s a gift for them. Self-love starts with self.  Is it fear of judgment? I will put this very bluntly — fuck what anyone thinks. Live your life sweetheart. We live in a society where people find insult in a litter of newborn puppies. Their judgment of you and how you live your life is a reflection of their insecurities or personal hang-ups that seriously has nothing to do with you. 

Is it finding a photographer who you feel safe and comfortable with? Research all the potential photographers in your area. Do you want a male or female photographer? How do they feel about you bringing a friend? Before you commit to a photographer, check out their work, ask a lot of questions. I mean a lot of questions. If you don’t feel comfortable with the vibe listen to and trust your gut instincts.   

It’s absolutely ok to be nervous and excited about your photoshoot. These emotions are more common than you think. Just remember you are beautiful and sexy in your own unique way. Confidence and self esteem are the two most sensual and sexy features a person possesses. When you decide to book a session with Bohemian Visions you will have a team of professionals who are focused on having you feel like a celebrity goddess. Your album will be a reminder you can push past the fear and reluctance providing that extra boost of confidence that will make you do anything you put your heart and mind to. 

Remember you are fierce and fabulous you are unique and amazing. What ever you decide to do, make sure your heart is in it. Your happiness is all that matters.

Until next time 
Do you, Be you, Love you. 

Unspoken Character & Place for Everything: Picking the Best Photo Location

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The location of a Photoshoot is one of the most important aspects of any quality session. It sets the mood and establishes the story the photos are trying to convey. For Bohemian Visions, it ties into our overall aesthetic and the feelings associated with a customized, high-quality photoshoot. When planning a Boudoir or Portrait session, the location is included in the package and geared towards the personality or theme of both the subject and the photoshoot. If it is a glamour session for a campaign, the location serves primarily for the mood and feel to attract future clients. If it is a client session, the location is based on their personality and the theme that drives the session.

For the adventurous, photographing at multiple locations breaks up the monotony and gives a sense of excitement to the team and the client. I love picking locations that have personality and charm. It helps tell the story of the session versus just being at a random location with a limited amount of time. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Hotels, Air BnBs, and or the client’s home are just a couple of places I like to do photoshoots. The location is one of the principle characters, that is essential to the evolution of the story. One of the certain things I look for when selecting a location is space. Open spacious bedrooms, sitting rooms, and living rooms are a starter for setting the ambience. Large, full length mirrors can capture reflections and various perspectives. Mirrors also give a sensual spin to candid moments. Even though I prefer large spaces, small ones conversely give a sense of intimacy and closeness. Dim lighting and candlelight gives off a romantic ambiance with the use of shadows and lines.

Locations with lots of windows offer natural lighting. I also like shooting from outside through a window to give a sensation of voyeurism.  When the client makes eye contact with my camera then it changes to exhibitionism. This is especially sexy if I want to convey the fantasy and excitement of being watched versus being a watcher. Cityscapes and skylines offer a texture that’s noisy but calm. Sunsets through treelines on a back patio give a feeling of escape and serenity.  Outdoors during Golden hour when the skies are clear gives an air of relaxation and calmness.

Furniture pieces such as chairs, chaise lounges, sofas and beds can also be a character in the story. Vintage pieces offer texture and depth, especially oversized furniture.

While I am generally liberal about the desires of a client, there are places I will not shoot under any circumstances. Plantations are at the top of (and currently the sole occupants) of my list. The deep-rooted history associated with chattel slavery, to include its brutality, murder, and genocide, makes this a hard pass. No matter how beautiful the architecture, the stain from the blood of my ancestors will never wash away. Many may not understand or agree, but to me, it’s about moral principles. It’s the only location I have a serious issue with doing a photoshoot regardless of the situation. While I typically choose the location and cover the cost of the rental. I do give my clients the option to select a location. I do communicate my objections and reasons. I have yet run into an issue regarding a location but if the client is insistent on having their session at a plantation property I will politely decline the job together. I cannot compromise my morals for money. 

Photo by Adam Kring on Unsplash

Outdoor venues come with some specific challenges. First, is the location legal to photograph? Many require permits and licenses. Some locations require additional fees to shoot. Is there heavy pedestrian traffic? There is nothing worse than spending an unnecessary amount of time photoshopping people out of the frame. Time and weather will always have a vote. You are at the mercy of the venue’s hours of operations. When it comes to outdoors nudes and boudoir is a tricky balance. You don’t want to get entangled with the police. While guerrilla photoshoots add an element of excitement and adventure it’s not worth being arrested, fined, or charged with various crimes.    

In short, these are a few of the considerations I take to ensure that the location of your shoot adds to the magic of the moment versus being a distraction. Great photography is more of an art than science and I look forward to using my artistic intuition to bring your photos to life. 

Do you, Be you, Love you 
Bohemian Life 

Capturing The Moment: Secrets Of A Great Boudoir Session

Have you ever ordered something and when you got to the bottom of the package you found an extra surprise? A liquor cordial. An extra dollar bill. Even an additional chicken nugget for your five-piece order. Do you remember how good that felt? Whether it was the icing on the cake of a fabulous day or a moment of serenity in life’s storm, it likely released endorphins within our bodies that left us feeling wonderful.  Sometimes, experiences like these that bring a rush of positive energy are far few and in between. Imagine a day spent listening to your favorite songs while getting your hair and makeup done, or your outfit prepped for as you walk into a location that fits your theme or fantasy. 

Now imagine feeling your best while being cheered on for looking amazing. And at the end of that day, you look in a mirror or at a photo and see yourself for the first time. A side of you that probably has been hidden for a while. How would you feel if you had that extra boost of confidence or pizzazz? How would your relationships, career, and self-esteem change knowing you are on top of your game. This is how Bohemian Visions creates the endorphin rush and experience that will be the beginning of a new and more confident you. 

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Shooting a Boudoir session is capturing a person at their best in their most vulnerable state.  Clients decide they want to book a session for a wide variety of reasons. But they all have one thing in common: they want to connect with the most intimate, sensual side of themselves.  

As a photographer, I am focused on creating a themed setting that reflects the client in their primal, authentic self. I like to incorporate elements of their style and personality into the session. Every detail is important. The music, location, and setting they must tell a story that showcases the client and conveys a certain vibe or message. It’s about igniting and awakening a side of you that’s been repressed.

Prior to a session, there is a great deal of research conducted. It is a collaborative effort with the client to ensure their session is the best experience they ever had. The devil is in the details and I am a stickler for it. Every aspect of their session is designed to be about them and for them. To truly see themselves. It’s all about the total experience.  

On the day of the session, the client is welcomed with five star amenities. It’s about incorporating all of their senses into the session to create the ultimate experience. Oftentimes they are nervous and excited and they can’t believe it’s happening. I focus on making sure they are comfortable and having a great time. I like to play music and crack jokes; the Glam Team and I use the prep time to make you the client feel like a celebrity.  

Each client session is unique and each client has a special story about them. With every session, I love shooting the eyes and the various expressions they show. What naughty secret they haven’t told? Who is the object of their desire? I love capturing the sensuality of a person; especially as the eyes communicate the yearnings of the soul.

Every frame I photograph for a subject or a client I want to be worthy of being framed on the wall. 

If you are looking for a natural rush like this that sustains good feeling and promotes a positive self-image, let’s do a complimentary consultation and see how I can create the best photoshoot session for you. My team and I look forward to helping you forge an incredible memory that makes you feel amazing all over. 

Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life 

Salute to the all the M.I.L.Fs in the World

May 10, 2020

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing MILFs in the world. After 17 years of motherhood it is still surreal I brought a human into the world. I will be completely honest. I struggled with motherhood for the first ten years. My relationship with the kid is that of openness and honesty no matter how difficult the topic it may be. I don’t sugar coat anything with him. If the topic wasn’t appropriate for his age I told him and of course, we circled back when it was appropriate and we talked about it. It didn’t matter the topic, it was about giving my son the best information possible so he can make the best decisions for himself. 

Anyone who knows me well, knows I am not motherly at all. I don’t care for motherhood, it is not my identity. I actually don’t like kids. I’m impervious to cute babies. My uterus never screamed for more. My pregnancy and delivery was very traumatic. So much that it almost cost me my life and that was enough to say, “I am done; fuck this shit.” I spent 1o days in the hospital, my son was four weeks premature and I had no support system to hold my hand. I gave birth alone. My first day home with a newborn the size of a football swaddled, I stood in my living room and just cried. After giving birth I struggled with postpartum depression. My emotions were so high I thought I was going crazy. 

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I will be honest I was terrified. I wasn’t in love, I wasn’t excited, I was utterly terrified. I am looking at this sweet baby thinking am I worthy of providing for this child, to give him everything he needs? It was the first time I went and got professional help to manage my depression and anger. 14 years later on a road trip my son asked me the most poignant question of my life. “Mom, did you ever want me?” Without hesitation I responded with “yes, because I had options.” He knew what I meant. He was mine and I wanted him, even when it was extremely hard and I would cry nonstop on those rough days, I wanted him. His nonverbal response was a sign of relief, no matter how much he made me mad or disappointed me, he knew I loved him no matter what. 

Being pregnant and recovering from postpartum depression took a lot of me. So much I didn’t mentally have the space to have another child. As a mom, society has this unrealistic standard of perfection. Your world now belongs to your child. Sexuality, feeling sexy, being sexual is dead. Carving out a piece of something that is just yours would be deemed selfish. Even having a career was deemed selfish by some extreme moms. The battle between working moms and stay at home moms was one I was thrown into. 

Single moms versus married moms was another battle. What does my marital status have to do with my ability to be a good parent and provider to my child? I don’t know; I felt like I was battling everyone.

It’s OK to be flawed 

Worrying about what people think about your style of parenting is exhausting. Here’s a tip, fuck what they think. It is ok to be flawed. You need to understand whether you are a working mom, stay at home mom, married mom, single mom you are not perfect. It doesn’t matter how you gave birth whether naturally, by C-Section, adoption, or surrogate; fuck what these cornball ass people with no lives have to say, it’s your life. Do you boo. There is no definitive handbook on how to be a good mother. As long as your child is safe and loved, cared, and protected you are doing a good job. 

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Everyone has an opinion on someone else’s life. Social media doesn’t make it any better. Sometimes I shake my head at the notion I am so glad social media didn’t exist when the Kid was born. Some of these Mommy Groups are the worst. Instead of giving a space to be vulnerable they will try to tear you down. It is ok to feel out of place. It is ok to not fall immediately in love with your child. As I mentioned earlier I cried in fear when I saw my son for the first time. It’s ok to feel like you don’t know what you are doing. Take a breath and ask yourself, is there someone you can turn to, who will not judge you and you trust? If you don’t have a person, then  go to therapy. Therapy is awesome and is a safe space where you can unload and the counselor will let you because by law they can’t disclose it, unless it jeopardizes your safety or another’s safety. You can vomit your secrets, receive objective counsel, and feel better. Personally I am a huge advocate for seeking therapy and or counseling. Mental Health is vital to self care. Burnout is real and it is not good for your or your little humans you care for. 

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Give yourself space for yourself

During my therapy sessions, I learned I struggled with balance. I was trying to be everything, a career woman, a great mom, and a college student. I was fulfilling every role. However, it didn’t leave space for me. Get a sitter and go be alone. Create a space where it is just for you and only you. You determine the frequency there is no right or wrong. Have a space where it’s only for you. It can be a spa day, a date with your partner, out with friends. Have a rule that you can follow. My safe space was going for a run, I was alone with my thoughts and it was mine for one hour. When I could afford it I went to the spa. Get the notion out of your head that having something for yourself is selfish. You are not being selfish, you are incorporating self-care into your life. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your child/children. If you are a single mom, you have the right to go out and have some fun with your single friends. Don’t ever let someone make you feel guilty. 

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Being Sexy or Sexual is not a Sin

When the term MILF first began a known thing on the movie American Pie I thought it was so cool. I loved it. Give yourself permission to be this sexual vixen. It doesn’t matter your marital status. Shit how else did your kid(s) get here. All over social media I see other women shame young moms for being in tune with their sexuality. People have this messed up view on sex and will push their own insecurity on to you. There is nothing wrong with creating a space for you to have a healthy sexual appetite. If you want to post a selfie in something sexy give yourself the space to do it. Don’t let anyone shame you just because you are a mom. How else your Kid(s) came into the world? 

Your sex life is your business and yours alone. It is no one else’s business. Human beings are sexual beings. There is no point denying yourself the pleasures just because mom is a new role in your life. You are human, give yourself the space to be human. 

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Conclusion

Motherhood is hard it exposes the flaws and insecurities of being a woman and that is ok. No one is perfect despite what folks on social media portray themselves to be. Whatever your life choices are and the path you took to be a mom, it is not an easy road. Don’t compare yourself its the worse thing. No matter what, there are little humans who think you are the greatest thing in the world. They love you no matter how flawed you are. Your imperfections make you perfect. You don’t need a day to remind you how awesome and amazing you are. So remember, you are sexy, amazing, loving, and fierce. You are a MILF and never forget that. Enjoy your moment.

Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life 

Igniting Your Self-Worth With An Amazing Boudoir Photoshoot

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Many people don’t know that Boudoir is French defined as a woman’s private sitting room or bedroom. Some people recognize Boudoir as a genre of photography that is sensual or sexual. Others see it as nude photography. The majority of the time it is taken of women but men and couples participate as well. Despite this style of photography have been around for 100 years. Many don’t know what it is. When I tell people what type of photography I shoot I still get asked what it is. The most simplified answer I give is intimate portrait photography in various stages of undress. It ranges from T-shirt and shorts or fully nude. It’s all about the client(s) level of comfort.

Photo by Yohann LIBOT on Unsplash

As a  Professional Boudoir Photographer, I will tell you its more than just taking pictures. It’s about connecting or reconnecting with yourself on an intimate level. Boudoir photography isn’t without its own set of challenges. Some people feel its just a way for pervert photographers to see women naked. A means to kidnap women or force women into sex trafficking. I would be lying if that wasn’t the case. A small number of men with cameras who claim to be photographers have done it and the risk is there. Like other scams as a potential client do your thorough research. Be diligent in asking all questions. 

Once you decide you want to do a Boudoir photoshoot, research the photographer. Do they have a website outside of social media? Are there customer testimonials and reviews like Google, Youtube, Yelp, or Bing? What type of women is in their gallery/portfolio “models” or “regular” everyday women? Are you comfortable having a man or a woman photographer? What type of services, packages are offered? Most important can you bring a friend? As a photographer, I would caution hiring a photographer that refuses to have a friend or partner come to your session. Especially if the location in their home. If you are not comfortable with this policy do speak up. This is your session don’t allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable. 

So you have selected your photographer, schedule your consultation, and now anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, excitement is all going through your mind. I will tell you those feelings are completely normal. You are not alone. During your consultation ask all the questions, you can think of. Trust me these are nothing new many times some questions are so common they are located in the FAQ on the website. 

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Ask yourself do you feel comfortable with the photographer during the initial conversation? Are you comfortable with them photographing you in the most flattering way? Do you feel comfortable having a stranger take pictures of you in lingerie or less? Trust your gut if there is a lemon poppy seed of doubt move on. There are plenty of other photographers. Are they experienced in photographing women of all sizes? Are their services inside of your price range? If the answer is yes and you are ready its time to make the leap. You pay your deposit and schedule your photoshoot. 

You go home and look in the mirror and now fear and anxiety start to go into overdrive. Every scar, stretchmark, and imperfections seem to magnify. Insecurity begins to take over. STOP!!!!! Breathe!!! Take a deep breath. There is no such thing as perfection. Refocus on why you wanted to do this. Remember what it was that gave you the idea to do this.  Your deposit is paid you are all in. You are beautiful your partner tells you this already. You get compliments from strangers. You are amazing, your Kid(s) show you this. Remember every commercial photo of celebrities and influencers is photoshopped. This includes social media posts. It’s layered with filters and Facetune modifications. Many of them go under the knife to look like each other. You are a special gem. 

It’s the day of your session you are nervous and that is perfectly ok. Those feelings are very normal. Your hair looks amazing, your makeup is beautiful. Your outfit is selected. Your photographer will ensure you are comfortable and will take a few frames to check the lighting and composition. You will be guided and assisted. Soon your session is over. You have seen your photos and you are in love. You didn’t think you could look so beautiful. You didn’t think you can be seen as sexy. Yet you are. When I do a reveal with my clients I show them the unedited photos to reassure them of their beauty. Editing should only focus on color correction and enhancements. Any major changes to the client’s body completely defeat the purpose of body positivity. 

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Your so call imperfections is what makes you uniquely you. You don’t need to lose any more weight. Your photographer is a professional and will listen to your concerns. They will shoot you in the most flattering way and make you feel amazing and comfortable. Your fears and concerns will go away halfway through your session. The positive affirmations and previews of your photos will give you the confidence to allow you to push those insecurities away. 

Your Boudoir album should serve as a reminder you are beautiful and sexy. You are brave and bold. You are feeling a sense of confidence and accomplishment because you finally overcame a fear or insecurity. When overcoming a fear or sense of doubt it gives you the courage to overcome anything. What started off as a “scary” photoshoot has now become a tool of empowerment. Your pictures serve as a reminder that you are worthy, courageous, and strong. 

While many critics will try to make you feel bad or ashamed for doing a Boudoir Session don’t give them that power. Don’t let anyone try to diminish your self worth and value. Don’t let their insecurity of themself make you feel any less. Their insecurities projected on to you has more to do with them and less to do with the decisions you make about your body and choice to do what makes you happy in your life. Don’t let their insecurities steal your joy. 

A Boudoir photoshoot will bring you face to face with the stripped-down version of yourself. It is a moment where it is about you and only you. Then you begin to realize the newfound sense of power. The power of knowing your worth and value. The power of feeling proud of your self-love and empowerment. You will no longer be a bill payer to someone else’s insecurities.  You are worthy. Look in the mirror and tell yourself this. As uncomfortable this may seem to try it. You are beautiful. You are more. The more you tell yourself this the more you begin to believe it the more you will embody this.   

Knowing your value and worth will open up so many opportunities that fear would typically restrict you from doing. So if you are considering adding a Boudoir photoshoot to your bucket list it will be an exciting and scary experience and so worth the investment. It is never too late to invest in your self.

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Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life

Bohemian Diva’s 10 Tips to Not Giving a F*!K

February 19, 2020

As people, parents, and every other title and role given we are tugged and pulled in fifty million different directions. For a lot of women and caregivers, it’s hard to say no to the ones we love. Then you wake up one day a shell of your former self. You no longer recognize the person in the mirror. You wonder what happened to yourself. 

Take take take it seems that’s all everyone does. Just take because you are a good person, take because you can’t say no. Take because you are reliable and dependable because you are strong and resilient. Then a wave of emotions coming flooding. Those feelings can range from drowning, suffocating, falling in a hole you can’t see to climb out of. 

So one day a significant event or multiple events happen relationships fail, severe health scare happens, a loss of someone important or relevant. These events serve a wake-up call a kick to the groin.  So you wake up and give the proverbial fuck it. You can’t continue this path anymore it is eating you. From the inside out.  

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You realize your energy/chi needs to be replenished. You need to cut a lot of dead and useless weight out of your life and reevaluate your relationships. Time to examine what truly matters in your life. Self-care and mental health become is now a priority. Like your checking account or gas tank, your mental and emotional energy can be overdrawn and drained empty. 

So you want to make some major changes in your life. Don’t quite know where to start.  Here are some tips and tricks to implement that will allow you to do no longer waste your precious time and energy of people and things that do not bring added value to your life. This isn’t the holy grail or definitive rule book. It’s a guide to get you started in taking care of yourself.  Protect your personal space. This isn’t an end-all solution but it’s a start. As you get better you will develop your personal rules and guides.  

1. Identify the Imbalance

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Feeling a little off? Things don’t feel quite right? Your gut and intuition are right. Are you having a hard time getting out of bed? Are you constantly tired despite sleeping hours throughout the night and middle of the day? Recognizing what’s off your body is the beginning. What is off with you mentally? If getting out of bed is a struggle, your mood isn’t vibing with the situation then it’s time to get that addressed. If you are sleeping too much and you are still tired go get help. Go see a mental health specialist. Don’t self diagnose go to a professional. Don’t let someone dismiss, or diminish your feelings. Go get help it will not fix itself. Your body needs balance. Proper diet, sleep, exercise and energy. Achieving balance in an overworked society is difficult but it can be done. If you know something is not right, address it. It will not go away on its own.

2. Who are you What  is your Personal Philosophy 

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You can’t give a fuck if you don’t know who you are. Strip away the titles, roles, positions and ask yourself who are you? What makes you who you are. Being a mother, wife, or insert job title people tend to revolve around their sense of identity. But what happens if your identity is revolved around being a wife and you get divorced or when your children become adults and no longer need you? Often times people confuse purpose with roles. Your core values should be your philosophy. Your personal philosophy is what gives you purpose and meaning in life. Regardless of what people will say those roles and positions should not define who you are. They should be an extension of who you are. If you were once a spouse and the marriage is over it should not uproot your core foundation of who you are. 

2. Set Boundaries & Enforce It

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You finally got the help you need and your counselor/doctor has created a treatment plan. You want to protect your peace and not regress in your treatment. Establish and set some boundaries. Are you or someone you know have a hard time saying no? How many times has someone asked you for a favor and despite politely telling them you don’t have time or resources? Then you are pressured to do the favor? The friend, coworker, or relative can clearly see that favor they are asking comes at an inconvenience yet they will ask anyway. How many times your boss or co-worker hit you with a last-minute project resulting in you canceling your plans to work late? When you set those boundaries and people still want to cross it is now a respect problem. Crossing boundaries is a clear sign that the person does not respect you. It’s not about you not being able to say no. It’s people not respecting you.

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Guess what, that lack of regard for your time and resources is a clear sign you are not respected. That treatment of you is because they know they can get away with it. How folks treat you is based on what you allow. The next time you find yourself in a situation where saying no is difficult ask yourself is this person doing it because they don’t respect you? You will be surprised how this shift in thought will change you approach.

3. Just Ask & Be Direct  

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Do you remember the old saying “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed”? Well, it’s still true. Passive and passive-aggressive folks will talk in circles to get to the answers they need. Or won’t bother to ask the direct question.  Many times people are afraid of asking for what they want due to various fears. This is apparent in the workplace. Rejection is a part of life. Avoiding it only makes it that much difficult. Honestly the more you accept rejection the more resilient and equipped you are in handling it. The easier it is to let it go. Don’t be afraid of asking for what you want. The worse thing that can happen is being told no. The best thing that can happen is getting the answer you seek without guessing or assuming. This avoids a lot of misunderstandings and assumptions. Don’t assume just ask, it will avoid a lot of future embarrassment. It gets easier each time and the more you let go of the fear the more confident you become. What do you have to lose just ask and be upfront about it? Don’t talk in circles.  

4. Put Energy Into Only Things That Only Matter

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Everything does not deserve your attention, your time and energy. Contrary time is very limited regardless of who you are. There are only 24 hours in a day.  Not giving a fuck about what people think begins with not giving a fuck about what people do. If it doesn’t affect you directly or indirectly don’t put energy in it. Folks will post things on the internet that will trigger you. Before you get your blood pressure spiking to ask yourself, “how does this affect me directly in the real world?” Everyone knows society is hypersensitive about everything. Someone is going to get triggered over a newborn baby. Minding your business is the best stress reliever ever. The life choices of a random stranger do not deserve your energy. Even the life choices of the people you care for weigh it carefully on whether you should get involved. The media does a very good job of inciting fear and divisive rhetoric. When you find yourself getting overwhelmed with negative news unplug. Just unplug and consume positive information. This takes time and discipline. A little phase I use to say when people try to bring me into their drama. “Not My Monkey, Not My Circus.” Pick and choose your battles. Not all battles are meant to be fought. 

5. Don’t Worry About What They Think

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When people start to become uncomfortable with your growth it’s time to reevaluate your association with them. Like a first-time parent folk will give you all sorts of unsolicited advice. If you spend your time trying to please everyone you will find yourself miserable. Dismissing random strangers that’s easy. When you are dealing with family and friends who are not listening to your needs, dreams, or desires there is a problem. People think they know what’s best for you, but do they? First, don’t share details about your life if you know it will be subject to negative opinions. If you do ultimately you have a final say. A way to determine if the opinion is value-added. Does the person have a vested interest in your success or failures? Do they have skin in the game? If the answer is no they fuck what they think. 

6. Cut Off One-sided relationships 

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One-sided relationships are another form of toxic relationships. Your needs, concerns, and overall wellbeing are ignored. These types of relationships are not limited to just intimate partners. It’s pretty obvious when a relationship is one-sided.  That friend/loved one is only around when they want something but when you need them to come through for you they are nowhere to be found. If they can’t be there for your losses and failures they don’t need to be there for your wins.  

7. Don’t Make Excuses for Your Actions Just Own It. 

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You are human you will make mistakes. Time is continuous and will not reverse itself. So with that being said own the effects of your actions. It happened so move on and say fuck it. Own your actions and don’t make any excuses for it. Remember it happened and you can’t go back to change it. You are going to make mistakes, you are going to fail. You will get knocked down. Get up, learn, and grow. You will make decisions that will not be a popular choice stand by it. If it is a mistake learn from it. Don’t make excuses live it with and grow. You are only human don’t try to be perfect. Own your shit.  

8. Love Yourself 

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As simple this maybe it’s hard to do. No matter what tell yourself you are worthy. Tell yourself no matter what another person may say to you. You deserve better. Too many times we give people power over our value and self-worth. Toxic kand abusive relationships will beat a person down mentally and emotionally. Loving yourself allows you to recognize those toxic traits. It gives you the strength to say you are worthy and deserve so much better. There are about 5 billion people on this earth don’t let one person deny you the right to be loved and respected. Don’t make excuses for their behavior and don’t apologize for their lack of respect towards you. You are deserving of love and respect but it starts with you first. 

Conclusion

Not giving a fuck is about protecting your peace and reinforcing self-care. It takes time to have the courage to stand up for yourself. There are plenty of self-care apps, and books that will assist in finding meaning and self-worth. This is not an overnight process it will take time and discipline. The question is when will you begin to realize your value and worth? Only you will know.

Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life 

Inspiration and Self-Reflection from Getting my Ears Pierced

December 31, 2019

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
~ Helen Keller

So…I got my ears pierced more like I got five sets of piercings done at the same time, nine in total. It’s been something I wanted to do it for years. I couldn’t do it due to various reasons ranging from the strict uniform policy of my old job to not having the time to get it done and letting my ears heal before taking the piercings out.

When I decided to change careers and pursue another career in Art Media, I figured hell why not. The funny thing was I kept putting it off for years. Despite researching the best place in the city to get my ears pierced, I was nervous. Even as I drove to the tattoo shop, I was looking for every reason not to do it. I pushed through, as I parked my truck, walked into the shop. Deep down, I wanted to back out, turn around and go home.

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I was directed to the piercing side of the shop. I spoke to a young lady at the counter on what I wanted. I pulled out my Pinterest collection picked out which series of piercings and showed her what I wanted. She explained the size of the needle used and the type of stud installed. She explained to me the steel ball-bearing was a better option and aided in quicker healing.

The whole time I am thinking what in the world am I doing. I can’t believe this is happening. Once I selected the kind of piercings, I paid, and I moved to the back. From then I took a seat on a table, and there I was doing it. My pulse began to race, and my body began to sweat. Yep, this is actually happening I am getting my ears pierced.

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While my body was going into flight or fight mode, I was quite impressed at how clean, inviting, and modern the establishment is. The Artist doing my piercings a total sweetheart. Super professional he explained the entire process to me. I continued to remain calm despite my increased breathing and heart rate. Never mind my armpits were uncomfortably sweaty.

It was 20 years since my last piercing, so a lot had changed. On the count of three, I felt the pressure than the sting of the needle than it was over. He complimented me on how well I handled the procedure. He eased my anxiety. I just took a deep breath and exhaled through the pain. The cartilage and tragus were the most painful. I had to do it nine individual times. “What am I doing!?” I thought to myself as he pushed the needle through the thick cartilage and flesh again and again.

There was no turning back. The lobes were the least painful. It made me think about folks on social media freaking out over babies getting their ears pierced. Like chill out, it doesn’t even hurt that much. It felt like a bee sting for a few seconds. A child that young wouldn’t even mess with it. Since they don’t mess with it doesn’t get infected compared to older folks. But I digress.

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He gave me a bottle of saline spray told me to clean my piercings three times a day and return in two months to swap of the silver ball bearings for cute diamond studs.

I left the shop thinking, Oh My Gawd, what have I done. I sat in my truck looked in the mirror and realized I did it. I finally did it. I pierced my ears. After all this time of putting it off, I finally did it. A lot of fear and doubt started to make a way to the surface, but it was snuffed out. I finally overcame them.

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I have this terrible habit of putting off things. I tell myself when I wanted to do something it will be later than later turns into years. There is so much I’ve put off due to various reasons. Two weeks since I pierced my ears thinking back on the decision is was the best thing that’s happened to me. I finally made the leap and jumped. It changed my focus and approach to how I take on goals and tasks. It’s given me this sense of liberation and clarity. I’m constantly speaking about living my authentic and best life. Getting my ears pierced has taught me there is no good time to do anything. To stop putting off things, no matter how small. If it’s on your mind and heart nonstop just do it. Go for it and jump. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to back to school, pursuing a dream, or cutting your hair there will never be the right time to do anything. Just take a breath and leap.

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My piercings represented so much more. It’s about pushing past the fear and anxiety of going into the unknown. It’s scary taking on new challenges, new adventures, new chapters in one’s life. It’s motivated me to take risks and chances on anything my mind is set on. Get out of your comfort zone and live. Create moments, whether it’s a success or failure. It’s your moment and yours to revel and reflect on. So if there is something you want to do and been putting it off. Stop waiting for the right time and do it. Don’t spend your life letting it pass by and regretting the things you wished you could for should have done. That’s what I am learning. Life is about taking chances and going for it.

Do you, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life

Chickens don't Soar with Eagles, so Why are you listening to a Chicken?

December 31, 2019

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” ~Oprah


You wake up and realize you need to make a significant change in your life. You begin to weigh your options, the pros, and cons. You speak with people close to you, to gain, some sort of sanity check. There is a sense of fear, doubt, uncertainty to even make this change. You will either push through the discomfort of being afraid, or you will be thrust into it without your conscious choice.

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You decided to take a leap of faith and doing something out of the ordinary, you will be faced with people on the sidelines telling you, you can’t do something, it’s not what the “market” wants. Whether it’s starting a business, changing careers, or rediscovering yourself, there’s always a flip side of the supported coin. It messes with your head, it rattles your confidence to the point you begin to question is this the right choice and decision. Are you making the right decision? People close to you may mean well but will try to discourage you from taking risks. It’s incredibly frustrating because they are supposed to support you actively, but they are doing it from a hands-off passive approach, or a discouraging doubtful approach.

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The status quo is a mental chain that keeps you in line with the exceptions of what everyone else is doing like sheep in a heard. It’s fear and doubt of others that hold you back from achieving and maximizing your maximum potential. The status quo says you can’t do this or that when your heart and passion says otherwise. The struggle and difficulties will always be there, it’s the mental mountain you have to traverse to get to the top and succeed. Many already know the climb gets steeper and harder as you get closer to the top or plainly put your goal.

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Surrounding yourself with like-minded people who can relate to the struggle and difficulties of accomplishing your goals. They understand the frustrations that come with taking risks. Having the right people to support you in your cause, and talk you off the ledge that’s called doubt helps a great deal. You have to have a strong sense of self, self-worth, and self-value. Having faith in yourself in accomplishing what you set your mind to will give to the strength when it gets hard. You will feel like quitting, you will want to cry and scream, and you may feel alone. Don’t you are not alone in your journey. Just know if it were easy everyone would be living their best life and their dreams a reality. Chickens don’t soar with Eagles.

Chickens don't Soar with Eagles, so Why are you listening to a Chicken? 27


Do you, Be you, Love you.
Bohemian Life

Sometimes You Have to Lose Yourself to Find Yourself

December 31, 2019

The path to enlightenment is often a difficult journey. Now, this is not some mumbo jumbo religious write up. Oh no, This is a little story on how I lost myself to gain everything.

Since undergrad, I have always had an appreciation for Eastern Spiritual Practices and Philosophies. The irony is I am not even religious, and I don’t go to church. The teachings embody all aspects of being human, living in this world. After I was introduced to the teachings of Buddha, I felt a strong connection. Here’s a super quick synopsis of who Buddha was. He was a young prince who lived a life of hedonism. One day he ventured out of the castle and saw a world of suffering then became ascetic. After realizing both extremes brought known happiness, he realized it was about finding balance. Even though this is an oversimplified explanation of who Buddha was. With this, I learned it’s about balancing the two. To know when to enjoy the pleasures of life and when to refrain.

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Its been a few years since I graduated from college. I went on had a successful career, got married, and lived the typical suburban life. Over the years, I have discovered some of the most beautiful depictions and representations of Buddha’s teachings. This new sense of Balance and Inner peace came flooding in realizing I have lost my way in some manner. When the body and nature are not in balance with the universe, it feels off.

Consumed with the everyday stress of adult responsibilities and challenges, it seems I have steered off the path of total balance and inner peace. I fell into a depression, suffered external and internal pain, ultimately became consumed with extreme forms of passion, pain, ambition, and success. Chasing after that next high that brought happiness. I was wrapped up in the superficial constructs of everyday life. I stopped practicing yoga and meditation. I stopped focusing on my center of gravity and inner peace, only focusing on instant gratification that had no real value or meaning.

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Being calm and even-keeled is difficult. Balance is an art as well as science. I have had to learn how to listen, observe more, slow to anger, being patient, and calm. Knowing when to realize that love and passion can cloud one’s judgment and ability to see the truth.

I’ve also had to distance myself from anything and anyone who brought toxic energy. This included relatives. Protecting my personal space and time is vital for my overall holistic health. The truth will always find a way to project oneself through darkness or even white smoke.

The mind cannot be independent of the Body and Spirit. To know oneself is to know who they really are and what purpose they serve. Live in the truth and embrace it. I have become very comfortable living my authentic self.

I want to share a passage I found online:

…”A person who knows their True Self does not let things of this world bother them. For they do not take their role in life too serious, compared to those, who are ego-driven. They understand that life is a spectrum. For nobody can have it all good life and expect nothing wrong to happen to themselves, for this is not how the forces of the universe work. So a person who shows no resentment and anger is a person who knows that they are ‘IT.’ The whole cosmos, which includes the entire spectrum, thus making them a wise and divine BEing.”

But to deal with anger and emotions, which only creates inner suffering, One must first ‘remember’ who they really are. All anger and resentment come from the feeling of being disrespected or from unfulfilled desires. These are all functions of the ego defending its own existence. This isn’t so in our daily lives?

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So someone who transcends their ego into true authentic being. One who leads with the heart instead of the mind, such as the Dalai Lama, Buddha, and Jesus Christ. They exhibit more compassion, for their ego does not dominate their existence. The main thing is exposing the ego for what IT really is, an illusion of control.

Once we can see beyond that illusion, the things that use to bother us do not have that same power over you. Thus making us a spirit that IS wise, divine, and FREE to become anything one wants to BE!

Basically, it states don’t be so quick to be impulsive when dealing with the difficulties of life. Do not be confined by your ego and pride.

And this is what I strive to be free of illusion like Dr. Mahattan, but with more compassion and heart following the mind. Achieving this takes time and patience. I am still a work in progress. Some people intentionally try to get under my skin because they are miserable in their own lives. That is none of my business.

It’s taken me some time to learn how to control my emotions. I still have my blow-ups, but I am only human. The path to complete physical and spiritual enlightenment is a journey. Releasing that burden has allowed me to leave toxic relationships, and know my value and worth. It’s taught me how to love and respect myself. It also freed me from the restrictions of someone else’s expectations and standards. Their insecurities have nothing to do with my overall happiness.

I hope this will inspire you to let go of the emotional burden you may carry mand free yourself. It’s a continuous work in progress.

Do You, Be you, Love you
Bohemian Life

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